Unbeerable
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This week: a disturbing new trend in beer. Indeed, so disturbing, you might say that I'm mad as hops about it.
In many countries, the ratio of male to female beer drinkers is roughly equal. In Germany, of all places, women apparently regard beer as unhealthy and unsophisticated. They even worry it might be fattening, possibly misunderstanding the term stout. Responding to this, German brewer Karlsberg has decided to make a beer especially for women.
The brew is a mix of beer and fruit juices, and it has an alcohol content of one percent. One version of it has lemon balm, a sedative. Another has soy lecithin, and folic acid, among other things, and is supposed to be good for you. So good, in fact, the brewer is marketing the drink through ... pharmacies.
Beer drinkers of the world, say it with me now: This is just wrong.
First, let's start with the premise. If brewers want to sell more beer to women, they might try actually advertising to women. Here in North America, all the beer ads are targeted at one group: the 21-year-old male. That is, the ads feature scantily clad babes, extreme sports, scantily clad babes, dorm life, scantily clad babes, and sophomoric humour.
This is silly because:
1) You do not have to advertise to a male college student. He knows all about beer and doesn't give a rat's patoot about brand, or whether it was cold-filtered, or the shape of the bottle. All this demographic wants is beer that is A) cheap and B) plentiful.
2) I know these ads exist because I, a female, have seen them. They are played during sporting events, movies and TV shows which advertisers apparently believe have exclusively male audiences.
Marketers might try making ads that show family barbecues involving beer (okay, maybe not one where Uncle Larry gets drunk and fights), or that show women in pubs enjoying a pint or even demonstrating the best beer and meal pairs (appealing to wine drinkers of both sexes). At the very least, they could show some scantily clad hunks, for, ahem, you know, equal time.
Second, anything with an alcohol content of 1% isn't beer, even by American standards. Mixing fruit juice with beer is okay (a nice Belgian cherry beer comes to mind), but adding sedative sounds like a good way to fall asleep into your schnitzel. And adding folic acid sends out contradictory messages - to whom are they trying to sell this beer, pregnant women?
Speaking of children, a Japanese company has begun marketing beer to ... kids. It's non-alcoholic, so we don't (yet) have to worry about setting up rehab programs at the local daycare. However this does raise some interesting questions.
On one hand we might ask if, by allowing our kids to wear make-up and revealing clothes, and handing them "beer" we're making them grow up too fast. On the other hand, if they get all of the accoutrements of "adulthood" before they're nine, and before they have the accompanying responsibilities, will they bother growing up at all?
And what's next, street legal miniature cars? Lowering the voting age? Actually this might not be a bad idea. At least when they're little, you can still make them do their homework and review the platforms of the various candidates to make an informed decision. This is more than you can do with an adult voter. Also, kids are great at asking embarrassing questions, which might put politicians, er, over the barrel.
Anyway, I digress and I should go - my husband has just read this column over my shoulder, muttered something about a pint being a fine idea, and is headed toward the fridge; I need to defend my stash. Meanwhile, my message to brewers is this: do not make female beer. Do not make child beer. Just make good beer.
That, more than anything else, will cure whatever ales your bottom line.
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MAILBAG:
Chandra,
Bravo. In my maths and computing classes, girls were always among the best students, because I encouraged and expected them to be. People live up (or down) to expectations. Fortunately, the world is beginning to question stereotypes.
Peter
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Chandra,
Loved your piece, (Not) In the Pink. I've snail mailed it to my granddaughter at Camp Shen-a-Wanda.
Her Bas Mitzvah was held in May and her theme was the color "pink." Pink balloons, pink tablecloths, pink centerpieces, etc. Oh, of course, she wore a pink gown!!!
Keep up the good work,
Marjorie Gottlieb Wolfe
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Chandra,
AMEN Sister! I never buy pink baby clothes. My daughter, who will sometimes wear pink of her own accord, plays hockey, goes frog catching, plays with Lego and has water gun fights with the neighbour boys. I rarely dressed her in pink when she was tiny, but searched for reds, yellows, greens and blues.
But, please - tea is a great civilizing drink and we should all teach our children to slow down for a moment, turn off the TV/computer/game and sit and have a conversation over a cup of tea.
Cheryl Isaak
Londonderry, NH
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Chandra,
I love reading your blog every week. This week really hit home with TPC satire. Ever since my daughter learned to dress herself, pink was definitely off the color scale. It became increasingly difficult for me to find anything without pink in it. To add insult to injury, my daughter would be invited to numerous sleepovers only to show-up in her fathers tee-shirt and her brothers cut off flannel pants. All of the other girls would be in their Disney character pink nighties with
coordinating robes with boa feathers and slippers. Did this hurt her image? Cause the girls to talk behind her back? The answer was "no." The mothers however, would increasingly scrutinize her wardrobe and look at me out of the corner of their eyes as if to say, "When are you going to get her to dress like a girl?"
Fast forward: My daughter is now 11 years old. Still wears her brothers hand-me-downs and finished second in her class in grade school! She also received the "Presidents Achievement Award" signed by the president himself. A neighbour gave her a birthday present a couple of years ago. It was a cut-out Barbie complete with wardrobe that you could mix and match. Of course, everything came in the various shades of pink you mentioned in your column. My daughter promptly cut out the Barbie, pasted her to a piece of paper, drew a hang-man's noose around her neck and wrote "BARBIE, YE BE WARNED! This is now engraved onto my
Chevy Z77 license plate.
I will always let my daughter choose what she wants to wear. What's really important is her self-esteem. It's never bothered her that she doesn't wear pink. What does bother her? Getting anything lower than an A on her report card. That's what keeps her in the "pink" and that's just fine with me.
Sincerely,
Marjorie Elwood
Pismo Beach, California
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Dear Chandra,
I know all about TPC. Having two daughters, how could I not? In my struggle to thwart TPC and the accompanying toy selection, I once, when my youngest was about 4 or 5, did not tell my husband's boss that she was a girl. As she has an outlandish name, he could not tell from her
name. And when filling in the form for a children's' party organised by the company my husband worked for, I ticked the box 'boy'. When the time came for the children to be divided according to gender in two lines to pick up their toys, my daughter happily stampeded with the boys and was handed a interesting wooden pickup truck with forms to train your understanding of geometry. She loved the toy and indeed a few years later in her life was commended on her understanding of ... math.
Mothers of the Earth unite and fight TPC!
Kindest Regards,
Artemis Westenberg
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